In 1959, the philosopher and mathematician, Bertrand Russell, who had by then become the third Earl Russell, along with his fellow peer, the second Baron Russell of Liverpool, wrote a letter to The Times. The reason for this joint communique, was that so many people were writing to “Lord Russell”, care of the House of Lords, that both men kept receiving each other’s post. They felt that a great deal of time and frustration would be saved by simply writing to a national newspaper, thereby informing everyone of the problem, and requesting that correspondents address things more carefully. Their epistle ends with a truly delightful sentence. “In order to discourage confusions which have been constantly occurring, we beg herewith to state that neither of us is the other.”

The reason I tell this story, is that in a little over a year’s time, the people of the United States will elect the person who will preside over their affairs from January 20th 2025 to January 20th 2029. As things currently stand, the most likely two candidates are the apparently incurably doddery incumbent, Joe Biden, and his apparently incurably criminal predecessor, Donald Trump. What a truly appalling choice.

The octogenarian Biden is frequently in the news for stumbling, falling, failing to find his way off-stage after giving speeches, being forgetful, and becoming confused. Even his speech is neither as strong, nor as clear as it was when he was inaugurated nearly three years ago. Unsurprisingly, Trump tries to make political capital from all of this.

But the septuagenarian Trump too is showing signs of confusion. At his most recent rally held in Sioux City, Iowa, he greeted his audience With: “A very big hello to a place where we’ve done very well: Sioux Falls:. The problem with that, is that Sioux Falls is in South Dakota, approximately eighty-five miles away from where he was speaking. Such gaffs could simply be caused by his growing number of court-cases, both civil and criminal, praying on his mind. Or, as some of his opponents suggest, he could be beginning to experience the same decaying of mental processes from which he claims, possibly with some measure of justification, Biden suffers.

Now, I know that keen observers of American politics will point out that Robert F Kennedy Jr is planning to run as an independent. They needn’t concern themselves with him. Although like Biden and Trump, he will soon have exceeded his three score years and ten, he has two things going against him. Firstly, independent candidates never succeed in presidential elections. Secondly, as has already been proven, despite the tragic family history, being a Kennedy doesn’t automatically entitle anyone to high office. His uncle Edward found that out whin he unsuccessfully challenged President Carter for the Democratic nomination in 1980. So, dear reader, as I said, discount him, and concentrate on the other two lunatics.

The United States, one of the world’s great democracies, is in serious danger of becoming an internally vengeful geritocracy. It is quite terrible that in a country of 340 million people, only two clapped out, senile old men are credible candidates for the White House. This sets the bar so incredibly low, that the only positive thing I can say of both men is that, to slightly misquote the Russell letter, neither of them is the other.