If Netflix is your thing, you might be interested in their new film, Maestro. It chronicles the life of Leonard Bernstein, the man who composed the music to Westside Story, and conducted the worst recording ever made of Mozart’s Requiem. He seems not to have been told that the requiem mass is to be said – or in this case sung – for the recently deceased, rather than to be used as a means of killing people. His recording is a bewildering cocktail of terror and boredom, which is neither healthy, nor pleasurable to listen to. But I’m beginning to stray from the point.

Two important facts about Bernstein are that he was jewish, and that he was gay. Important, that is, for the purposes of this blog. You sea, dear reader, the actor playing him, Bradly Cooper, is neither jewish nor gay. In fact, he wears a prosthetic nose for the film, in order to look more jewish. “Jewing up”, if you will, rather than the more common, and commonly frowned upon, “blacking up”.

This has caused some considerable outrage. Why, people want to know, given that producers and directors strive for authenticity, did they not cast a jewish actor? Why, others cry, did they not cast a gay actor to play a gay character?

I should, perhaps, refrain from offering my views. After all, like Mr Cooper, I am neither gay nor jewish. However, as there has often been a divergence regarding what I should have done and what I have done, I see no reason to change now.

The point about jewish actors has some merit. After all, An Indian would play an Indian character, and a black person would play a black character. But there are two objections. Firstly, not all jewish people conform to the stereotypical image. Secondly, if we accept the idea that only a jew can play a jew, we must also accept the idea that a jewish actor can only play jewish characters. Not an idea that many would be happy with.

The contention that only gay actors should play gay characters is, frankly, utterly absurd. It is as absurd as saying that only straight actors should play straight people. What would have become of actors such as John Gielgood, Derek Jacobi or Stephen Fry if they had only been limited to gay characters?

What the perennially outraged forget, is that actors are pretending. Their job is to pretend so well that we believe them. Bringing one’s own experiences to a role shouldn’t have to count for much. Otherwise, only mad, Danish Princes with “mother issues” could play Hamlet, or Scottish serial killers MacBeth. Only clapped-out, retired spies, with a sideline in assassination and a taste for the high life could play James Bond. And where would one find suitable aliens to star – no pun intended -in science fiction films? Should Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Winslet have swapped films, thus the American Paltrow appearing as an American woman in Titanic, and the English Winslet appearing as an English woman in Sliding Doors?

Presumably, the casting director of Maestro believes that Bradly Cooper is talented enough to convincingly play Leonard Bernstein. If you watch it, dear reader, and are convinced, then it doesn’t matter what Cooper isn’t. If you’re not convinced, it will be because he is not talented, not because he’s not gay, or not jewish. Remember, even though talented actors are paid handsomely, they’re only pretending.